There’s a lot of advice in the manifestation space about letting go of your old self to give life to your new self. But what if you don’t know which version of you is currently running the show?
When I experienced my first awakening, I thought it was a one and done. Everything seemed fresh. The world felt brand new.
I was in a state of bliss for weeks. Nothing could subdue that floating-in-air feeling. I didn’t desire anything external. Even though my situation on the surface didn’t look great, I didn’t care. I had found something that couldn’t be taken away from me.
Well, so I thought.
I don’t know when it happened, but somehow life was just life again. The desire to fix my circumstances returned, and I went back into “making things happen” mode.
I was doing all the things — meditating daily, reading dozens of metaphysical books, listening to spiritual podcasts, and trying my best to stay “positive” in the midst of chaos. My situation would improve temporarily, but I couldn’t sustain that feeling of peace.
I constantly looked for external signs to validate that I was on the right track. I tried to find anything I could to finally turn things around.
It wasn’t the last time I’d feel this way.
I assumed something had gone wrong, that I’d fallen out of alignment or failed to hold onto what I’d touched.
It took a while to see that nothing had been lost.
Something else had simply come back online.